I planned on writting alot sooner but as usual life has thrown me another curveball. I can honestly say I have expirenced the single most terrifying moment of my life so far. It was Saturday afternoon and I was hanging out at home as usual. I was getting ready to go out with my cousin when my dad collapsed and start yelling for help. I ran into the living room and saw him lying on the couch shaking, gasping for air, and turning white. He looked so helpless lying there reaching out for help.

I grabbed some asprin off the counter and called 911. As I sat beside my dad I went through every emotion I had felt throughout my life so far. Anger, fear, panic, pain, hope, and even joy, all within minutes. I was angry because out of all the people in the world, murderers, rapist, pedophiles, all the evil people on death row, that my dad was the one lying there in pain. One of the sweetest most caring people in the world, and in my opinon the pure essence of what it means to be a father and he was having to suffere like this, it wasn't fair.

I tried to calm my dad down but soon found myself begining to panic. I was afraid. I wasn't afraid that he may die or that something was wrong with him I was afraid, of seeing him so helpless. My whole life my dad had been a rock, not just for me but for my whole family. No matter what the situation or time of day he was there. I had never saw him in a moment of weakness. For the first time ever I had to be the rock for him, his life depended on me.

I looked into his eyes and I saw fear, real fear. Not failing a class fear or going bald fear. I saw pure fear in my father. He was afraid of dying. He was afraid of what was on the other side. I didn't know what to do so I turned to the one thing that I feared more than death its self, God. I ask my dad if he wanted to get saved. It was the last thing I could do for him. In the end it was in God's hands, not mine. While my dad stated praying I began to ready myself for the worst.

In the last few months I had become alienated from my father, I never knew what to say to him or how to relate with him any more. Despite all of this though every single thing I ever wanted my dad to know began spilling out of my mouth. I told him how much I loved him, I told him how much I was thankful he was my dad. Then he told me the one thing that pierced right through all the panic and fear that had me dazed. He told me how proud of me he was, and that he could havn't ask for a better son. Still as I type all of this my eyes are welling up with tears of joy from hearing that.

As you have probably figured out my dad is ok. He has a blockage in his heart and has to get a stint put in tomorrow. Most people would hate going through all of this but I am thankful for it. It has completly changed my life. In that short span of time I grew up. I was thrown head first into the future I have been terrified of and became a man. just a week ago I was so afraid of leaving childhood. Now, I am glad it's behind me. I know it's all gonna be ok. I know that I am on the right path and no matter what, I am doing ok. I know I could look fear straight in the eyes and come out even better than before.